Okay so I had the WEIRDEST dream last night. This is Steven Colbert. Hi Steven! Anyway. as you all know I have been having very very vivid dreams. usually they are horrible and tiring but this one is pretty doggone hilarious. This has no political aspect so calm down.

Steven Colbert, Mom, Dad, and I were playing scrabble in the kitchen. I wasn't really in the mood to play but mom and dad were forcing me to. Steven knew I didn't want to so he ended up stopping the game.

After that he grabbed me and started waltzing with me around in the kitchen. I gave him a very "I'm attracted to you look" that wasn't meant to be seen. But he caught it and asked me about it... I tried to deny it. He dropped it after a while.

Later in the dream he kissed me! I was so surprised that I pulled back and he apologized. But a few seconds later he kissed me again... Don't ask me. Anyway. Maybe I'll keep a record of my dreams on here. I hope this brought a smile to your face. Love you guys.

Hey guys in lieu of mom's email asking us to be more open with each other I thought I would start with this.

This is my favorite picture of Ben and me. We were just barely engaged. and though it looks kinda staged it wasn't. We were genuinely happy. That period was probably the most idyllic time in the past I would say decade. That sounds very depressing. But it's true.

I was so excited to be getting married. And I knew it was the right thing. When Joshua (the boyfriend before Ben) asked me to marry him I had such a dark heavy feeling. But when Ben asked me... everything got so clear. it was such a wonderful feeling. So I was so happy. WE were happy together. perfect fit. in every way. ( maybe I'm only remembering the good and ignoring the bad. I do that sometimes. selective memory.)

Anyway... I've been through hell since then. or the closest to it that I can tell. and I've come off the worse for the wear. (how many cliche's have I used in this thing?) Life is hard. And nothing is ever set in stone. I've been able to find pieces of joy here and there. Through art, music, and of course, my favorite thing, my family. I love you all more than I can express. Thank you for being with me through this whole thing. thank you for your prayers and your love. I am blessed.

Hey guys, I just thought this was a really cool picture. Thought you would like it. Do you think there are people with purple eyes? or with other colors not green, blue, grey, brown? What do you think?

Hey guys,

This is a picture taken two years ago. But it matches how I feel right now. I'm having a tough time. I'm struggling with nightmares and a new wave of depression. I would appreciate your prayers... if you would. I love all ya'll. :)

New Novel

Okay guys, if you know me, you know that I love to write. I have tried to start many books and have never been successful with finishing them. I think the reason was that the ideas weren't completely...complete. But I have just come up with the BEST of my story ideas yet. it combines all my favorite parts in my other novels and has a very original story line. I'm really excited about it.

I'm going to tell you about the plot. Basically this takes place on Earth in the future. America Mexico and Canada have been taken over by one dictator. The military wages war on an alien planet called "Lanos." Earth Loses. They are able to kidnap 5 of the people (Toren)from this planet back with them. The Toren have special abilities (kinda like x-men powers). The military figures out how to harness their power as a weapon. Before they perfect the weapon, 4 of the Toren escape (these are two married couples and they later have a set of twins each). The fifth is a woman and a "Chen", which means she actually does not have powers. But she is pregnant and has a son, and dies. The military raises him and are sure he has powers, but he never shows them, so they can't be sure.

Well, I'll just leave it at that. I'm really excited about it. I'll give you updates later if you are interested. Buzz out.

Hey guys, it's been a while. I used this picture in my final art project for my art class. I was very happy with how the project turned out. If I had a camera I would take a picture of the project itself and post it. It's really cool anyway. well, life is alright. living down at Paula's is good and bad. I haven't been sleeping well, and sometimes I get lonely but it's fun anyway. Iv'e watched more Sponge bob than I ever have at home. so that's great! bye for now.