Jigsaw

Jigsaw


I pour the pieces on the table
Some spill off the side
I search for the corners--
The easiest to find

Are some missing?
Should I pick those off the floor?
They are dirty now.
They may not fit back here anymore.

I leave it for a day
When I return from wherever I've been
It looks strange to me
I start over again

I have no picture to reference
I'm not even sure how
It's supposed to look
Then or now

I finish, how many hours spent?
No, not quite done
There are pieces missing,
Or perhaps just one.

Yes, the largest,
The most important, the key,
Not on the floor
Not within me

I leave the jigsaw again
And walk around my mind
I see you holding the piece,
Would you be so kind?

I smile and reach for you
But you recoil, and turn
I watch in horror
You give it away, to her

I run to my jigsaw
And throw it on the floor
It shatters
I cannot fix it anymore

Would someone else?
No, that won't do,
Who fits me better
Than you?

Stories

Hello. I have been writing a lot lately. I finished a short story called "Grief." I mentioned it in and earlier post, but have just finished it. It's a very good story. It's based on a song that I learned several years ago. The basic premise is, there are two angels. One angel just lost one of the people she was guarding (the girl committed suicide) and the angel feel horrible about it. So an older angel comes and helps her. If you want to whole thing I can send it to you via email. Let me know if you want it.

The novel I'm working on right now does not quite have a title. The main character's name is Phoenix, hence the picture. This is the best plot line I've come up with and I'm at a point now where I have enough confidence in my writing that I feel I can finish it. (A side note. Ben is now dating someone else. So we aren't going to be seeing each other much anymore.) The story tells of an alien race that comes to earth peacefully to share their knowledge with the humans. This race (Toren) have special abilities (like X-men type powers). The humans want to harness the power for evil, a war ensues, the Toren are nearly wiped out. Only 5 are left and the military imprisons these and tortures them to get their powers out. 4 of them end up escaping, the other woman has a baby and dies in childbirth. He is kept alive so they can use his powers when he is older. This is where the story begins. The boy's name is Phoenix.

It's really coming along well. I read it to mom on our way home from Utah yesterday and she liked it. That made me happy. I've always been afraid of sharing my writing with Mom and Dad because I take constructive criticism too hard. It's not their fault at all. I'm just too sensitive. But their comments have helped me improve my writing and I'm grateful for that. Anyway. More to come later.

Most Depressing Dream

Well, as the title tells you I had the most depressing dream last night. What made it so depressing was that it was not only so real, but I was so happy.

Ben and I were getting married. So I had a dress (it looked almost exactly like this one). We didn't have time to get it fit to me. The top fit just right but the bottom part was loose! That was actually one of the things that made me so happy. I have been struggling with my weight (in real life) and to have my wedding dress be a little too big, just made me happy.

Anyway so the setting was weird I can't relly describe it. I just remember walking down stairs to Ben and the sealer. Ben was so handsome and I was such abeautiful bride. We got married and had a reception and everyone was there and I just couldn't stop smiling. Bitter Sweet dream.

I woke up feeling so depressed.